Posted on

F*** Valentine’s Day Movie Guide Vol. 2

F*** VALENTINE’S DAY MOVIE GUIDE VOL. 2

Last year I posted a list of films that I thought were good alternatives to the usual run-of-the mill chick-flick fodder and after it being one of my most successful posts I decided to follow up with another year’s worth of good relationship-based films that would be alternatives to Ahem, The Vow with Channing Tatum. Cue the vomiting.

Blue Valentine
(For those staying together for the kids) 

A movie that appeared on my top movies of 2010 list and still stand by it being an amazing motion picture that is an emotional roller coaster about Dean (Ryan Gosling) and Cindy (Michelle Williams) as a couple who fall in and out of love and give powerhouse performances in the process. The movie is an equivalent of getting a hug from someone and then following it with a punch into your gut. While I haven’t had a kid yet, so I can’t understand the complications of it in a relationship, it is still a universal feeling to realize it’s “too little, too late” in a relationship.

Like Crazy
(For those in a long distance relationship) 

Blue Valentine” for the college age is just as authentic and heartbreaking look at falling in and out of love and trying to reignite the dwlinding flame in a failing relationship. Anton Yelchin and Felicity Jones give amazing performances and improvise what feels like a completely truthful and honest relationship. Where as “Blue Valentine” had the issue of a child in the mix, this film replaces it with the issue of a long-distance relationship between countries and the politics of immigration. One of my favorite movies of 2011 that unfortunately left me shaken at how real it felt to be in your 20’s and in love.

My Bloody Valentine ’81/’09
(For those with bloodlust towards happy couples) 

A wild card. Maybe sappy romance isn’t for you and maybe you don’t want a “love conquers all” chick flick or a emotional roller coaster “Blue Valentine” but just want to see couples get mutilated and slashed to pieces. There’s a plethora of horror and slasher films to wet your appetite but why not go for the one related to the titular holiday. The 1981 version and 2009 remake both deal with a pick-axe wielding miner who comes to a small town on a murderous rampage after a Valentine’s Day mining accident. The 81 version is a slasher classic and now can be seen unrated and the 09 version is more brutal and unapologetic but can also be seen in 3D! Take your pick. Both are good for some cheap thrills.

True Romance
(For the couples with dreams of new lives together) 

One of Tony Scott‘s best films (Yes, even better than Top Gun) is this Tarantino written 90’s gem with literally one of the greatest casts ever in a film. It stars Christian Slater and Patricia Arquette as a young couple (comic-book nerd/call-girl) who fall in love seemingly overnight and when he murders her pimp they decide to run to Hollywood to sell his suitcase full of cocaine. What sounds like a grim/dark crime drama is actually a sweet, dark-comedy full of stellar cameos, witty dialogue, and genuine romance ending in the best mexican standoff ever filmed. Many people will remember scenes like the Christopher Walken-Dennis Hopper showdown but Clarence and Alabama are two movie characters so charming that a movie about them would be fantastic even without the gangsters.

Sid & Nancy
(For the couples constantly fighting) 

One of the most famous tragic love stories our time. The true story of Sex Pistol Sid Vicious and Nancy Spungen. Gary Oldman and Chloe Webb give fearless, emotionally over-the-top performances as the doomed lovers who drank, smoke, shot-up, and swore through the England punk rock scene and led to the demise of the Sex Pistols and the murder of Nancy. The film is a great look at the London punk scene and is also great fun to see Oldman and Webb play off each other and see how their reliance on each other was also the cause of their own self-destruction. Even the modern day celebrity couples that self-destruct still don’t have the love and commitment that Sid & Nancy had.

Let the Right One in
(For the anti-Twilight vampire romance) 

This swedish horror film based on a book and remade into the 2010 “Let Me in” is a horror masterpiece in mood, lighting, and acting. Oskar is a 12 year old boy who is constantly bullied and discovers his new next door neighbor is actually a young female vampire. The film has a cheesy 80’s sounding concept that is a surprisingly dark and heartfelt drama about young adults who find solace and understanding in one another. Their relationship feels entirely real and never too Hollywood or dramatized. Their friendship and care for each other is the spark of the movie and it’s rare to see children actors portray a love and friendship that most adults in Hollywood films couldn’t make believable. I have not seen the American remake but the “swimming pool” scene is among the classic scenes in cinema history.

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!  <3

2 responses to “F*** Valentine’s Day Movie Guide Vol. 2

  1. Awesome post man! Truer words have never been spoken about True Romance…calssic, classic movie. In Tarentino’s version both of them die, but Tony Scoot wanted the happy ending…lol. You missed BELLFLOWER, V-Day movie for the truly crazy as hell! Keep up the good work! If you have not seen it, check it out.

  2. I personally didn’t mind the upbeat Tony Scott ending, in a weird way it totally works. Yes! Bellflower would have made a great addition, and is a truly fucked up V-Day movie. I actually included it in my Best Movies of 2011 post. Check it out! Thanks for the great comment!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s